Lancaster Irrigation

How was your day?

I Heard That

It Helps If Both Engines Are Running

Those were the days.

They are going to die and don't know it.

Oh Sh_t!

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen

Clueless In New York

Excuse Me, Does This Airplane Have A Bathroom?

We Are Dead

Engines, Don't Quit on Me Now

It Helps If Both Engines Are Running
It was a cold winter morning at BWI (Baltimore) and the weather was marginal. We called for taxi clearance and were number 328 (or so it seemed) for take-off. Standard procedure for lengthy taxi times was to taxi out with only one engine running to conserve fuel. We started up one engine and joined the “Congo line” for take-off. Usually we would then wait until we were three or four aircraft away from take-off and then start up the second engine. We would then run all the appropriate check lists so as to be ready when we were cleared to go.

We were # 2 in line for take off (and ready to go I might add) behind Airline X. Now I'm sure the Captain and First Officer in front of us talked about every conceivable topic during their slow taxi out for take-off except for the most important one: Start the # 2 Engine. The tower cleared them for an immediate take-off and then it happened: the puff of smoke from the initial lighting of a jet engine. They started down the runway with a plume of white smoke billowing out of a very cold engine trying to start for the first time that day. I don't know how long they actually thought they could pull it off, but they told ATC they needed to abort the take-off and rejoin the line for another try.

I can only imagine the Captain's embarrassment knowing that every pilot watching knew what had happened and was howling with laughter. His only saving grace was that his passengers probably never knew what actually happened. I’m sure the cabin announcement went something like this: “ Ladies and Gentleman, we would like to apologize for this slight delay but on the take-off roll we saw an engine instrument reading that appeared to be out of the normal take-off parameters. All parameters are normal at this time so we are rejoining the line for take-off. Thank you for your understanding.”

WHAT?! You really think he/she would actually admit that “It helps if both engines are running” to the passengers? We would tell the truth but not necessarily all the truth. That can be the subject of a future addition.